In recent years we have had to deal with lots of cases of young people, especially the female, running away from their parents home, in their desperation for illusive freedom and otherwise.
On several occasions I have come across one post or the other on social media platforms, about one girl child running away from home and even going as far as traveling to another state and country (within Africa). They totally abandon their education or skills learning program, ending up in the arms of one deceiver out there, who she sees as her heaven and earth.
In the end, he may just use her as his object of sexual satisfaction, and has no single plan of bettering her life beyond where it stopped at the point she ran away from home. In most cases, she is impregnated, then maybe abortion becomes the way out, and he subjects her to one crude abortion procedure or the other, that ends up either destroying her womb, or taking her life.
We have seen cases were these girls end up in camps, turned into baby making machines. Some end up in the streets as runs girls, hookup and all sorts of dirty dealings. Some come out alive, some others pay with their lives, and I do not think that’s what any parents wish for their child/children?
Yes, no argument to the fact that it is the most delicate and sensitive stage in human life, mostly the girl child. At a point, some of us attempted doing same at same age, but because we do not have the courage, we stayed and continued grumbling under the authority of our parents, but today, we are happy and grateful we eventually never ran away from home in the name of “search for freedom”.
This is were parents need to come down from their lofty positions at homes, to enable you communicate in the language that will best suit into the ears of your adolescent children. Because at this stage, most of these children think you’re Just being wicked to them with your acts of discipline.
They see it as hatred, and desperately seeking means to escape from your authority, and once they have a male backbone out there giving them the courage, you will wake up one morning or come home one evening, and she’s gone. She will change her phone number, block every family members on her social media platforms, and you are left helpless and restless.
This children think that freedom, their own version of freedom is enjoyment. In fact, they have friends and people around they constantly envy and wish to be like, simply because the parents of such people of their age as well, do not have a control on their lifestyles, activities and otherwise. They do not understand that such lifestyle is leading to destruction, where as the life their own parents is nurturing them for is one million times better.
Sadly, there’s seemingly no amount of advice you give them that time that will impact positively in them, except you play into their own wishes and desires. But I bet you, few years after, most of them would have realized their mistakes but a lot of damages must have been incurred in the process of their wayward life adventures.
As parents, especially in this era of the Gen-Z, it really takes a lot more, especially with great wisdom, knowledge and patience to raise teenagers, especially in a way you won’t end up in their back books as being wicked and autocratic. But where as you are only paving a way for them to have a great tomorrow, it’s just really complicated and complex, honestly.
I will suggest you show them enough love and tolerance, rather than harshness and being steadily brute with them. Again, limit your rate of comparison to avoid demotivating them that end up plunging them into a state of low self esteem. Rather, engage them in a steady and soft engagement discussion.
While it is equally not advisable to completely spare the rod, as the bible made it clear that once you spare the rod you spoil the child, but equally understand that you are dealing with a different generation of human. The hand and style your hands your parents use during your upbringing cannot completely work with this generation. Yes, this because their thinking is totally different, their mindset is totally different, and they are often fearless and ready to take the highest risk.
Please , do not make them see you as a parents who does nothing else than always hit them, even at the slightest mistake of theirs. This won’t help, rather, makes matter worse. As such, you must be dynamic while dealing with this generation.
(Written by Okwor Maxwell Onyeka, Nigeria writer, author and filmmaker. onyekaondeck@gmail.com)
